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Feb 9, 2018 3:05:54 GMT
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2018 3:05:54 GMT
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AFFILIATION: undecided (eventually dark avengers) ALIGNED: Undecided (eventually evil) |
Free Style! She can use magic but specializes in hexs and curses. However the stronger the curse the more effect it has on her body. For example she puts a simple curse like a voodoo doll she feels a little pain in her chest but not bad. Eventually she hopes to grow out of this. She's also got a lot more agility than abnormal person and can withstand cold temperatures longer than most. She can even use ice and snow (she doesn't know that). She has more stamina then most people do She also has a little more strength than a normal human but not as much as a full asgardian. She knows many languages that she didn't know she could understand And knows a lot about horses. She also knows how to create small illusions (threw magic like her dad) Advanced reflexs Cold immunity Can lift 10 to 15 tons
Weakness: Her confidence in herself is low Her self worth is low too not believing she's special
Her love for her dad Her obsession to see her dad Fire/heat
She doesn't know anything about who she is or who her dad is the only clue she has is her last name her mother said she took her away from him long ago because he was bad news. But she has longed to someday meat her dad and leave with him forever.
She doesn't know how her mom met her dad. But here's the story she doesn't know. That it was just a fling. Her mother had met her father by chance. Her mom happened to be drunk at the time. And as a small one time fling she found out months later that she was pregnant with her. Her mother would neglect her as soon as she started causing trouble at age 10, before they she gave her all the time in the world. Her mother was fearing her fearing she was becaming her father. She started neglecting her as a result. The more trouble she got in the more she would neglect her for her punishment. The more she was neglect the more she got in trouble.] She is a little on the shy side. And likes to rebail against her mom for taking her from her father as a result her mother emotionally and mentally hasn't taken good care of her. Resulting in a child that's mind can be messed with. She hopes this will change when she meets her dad. She gets into whatever trouble she can as a rebailous teenager to be closer to her dad. She also has a love for magic and dark things.
She hates bright colors and cheery things such as rainbows unicorns all those things she hates. She also loves causing trouble and playing pranks.
Likes: * playing pranks (she just finds it funny) * lighters (makes her feel bad to the bone) * scary movies (just finds herself interested more than scared)
Dislikes: * kid shows (such as Barney or any of those shows she sees them as too cheery) * happy endings (she just doesn't believe their are any yet anyways)
Hates: * dogs (see fears) * going to church (she finds it boaring and doesn't believe in churches teachings)
Fears: * being rejected by her dad * fears dogs Reasons for fears: Fear one: cause if she leaves home her mother will disown her then she would be alone on her own if he rejected her.
Fear 2: because she likes cats and she feels dogs are more tied to good things then dark stuff. She also just hasn't ever felt safe around dogs.
Password cosmos : created by Lilith of Adoxography
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Aug 15, 2020 18:06:28 GMT
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Post by Yankees on Feb 9, 2018 3:42:51 GMT
Password is Pending!
A couple of things, Phantom your character has a good start however I'd like to know more about her. Three paragraphs normally isn't enough for us to accept her.
Family: You say you don't know her father, although it looks like it is loki and an unknown mother? Please mention them! Also how did Loki and this woman meet? Leaving it unknown isn't going to help us with this one bit.
Leaving everything as a MYSTERY isn't going to help it seems like a bad excuse here.
Powers: Also I imagine she is half asgardian due to the fact that her father is asgardian. She would have strength and other various aspects. I'm not seeing any of those listed besides casting spells or hexing. This would result in Jinx being half asgardian and half human so she would have some vulnerabilities. I also don't see you mentioning any weaknesses in her at all. This would make her a bit over powered since I don't see any of these mentioned.
Personality: Please give her more on her personality like being shy and rebellious are good starts. But we want to know things like fears, likes, dislikes and so on. This way we get a whole idea than just a little snippet.
Also it looks like you copied the coded part into this one please remove it since it's a bit redundant
I would highly recommend looking up other apps. This is a good start but it needs more before continuing on.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2018 5:14:57 GMT
Okay, there is improvement but Jinx still needs a lot of work. First, her third fear. This makes absolutely no sense what so ever, especially for such a sensitive topic such as sexual abuse. This is rather unrealistic, fantasy world or not. I can understand if she was fearful because she herself had been abused or maybe she knew it was going on with someone and was too afraid to tell. So I recommend either mention something along these lines or completely dropping this fear or replacing it. Second, her history is all over the place. You say her mother is half Asgardian and met Loki in Asgard. Yet, she was born on Earth. How did she end up on Asgard if her father was gone much of her life? Some explanation is needed here, and I would recommend this goes first. Next, how did her mother meet Loki? Was it by chance? A fling? Mentioning how to two met, even if its a small detail would help us better understand why her mother left. Which also brings me to another detail, how did her mother leave Asgard? The Rainbow Bridge is constantly on watch by Hiemdall, so how did she get passage to leave Asgard? Also, what did her mother do in her life to make her mentally and emotionally break her? There is not mention of abuse or bad living arrangements, so we ask you mention more into this. Third, you ignored Yankees the first time mentioning this but since Jinx is technically three-fourths Asgardian, she will have some of their physical abilities, if even to slightly lesser degree. She does not need all, but more than just what you have needs to be mentioned. More information can be found here: marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Asgardians My recommendation is to also look at Loki on the Marvel Wiki Database, to get some understanding of what abilities he has and may have passed onto Jinx, for a more accurate understanding of where her power range can be set to.
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Feb 9, 2018 6:20:59 GMT
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2018 6:20:59 GMT
Edited hope it's ok now
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Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2018 7:27:54 GMT
You covered some of this, but others you simply just deleted. This is not going to work.
History: Again, we need some detail on some things because you have other parts of the application that make no sense without some detail here. Her mother, once more, needs some detail of how she ended up on Asgard if she herself is half human. You did not need to delete about the part about her mother's history, all you had to do was give some explanation to how she ended up on Asgard and give detail of how she got passage to leave Asgard later when she finds out she's pregnant. Also, you keep saying she is broken emotionally and mentally, but you have not covered why. I will ask once more you give detail.
Powers are looking good. I just recommend making a side note besides the strength of how much she can lift, perhaps something between 15 to 20 tons since normal Asgardians can lift 25 to 30. Then I also recommend stating if she creates illusions through magic means, such as Loki, or by other means.
Overall, this is better. But, the history has been the biggest problem since there is a lot here that makes little sense or does not back up some things in the rest of her app.
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Feb 9, 2018 19:20:07 GMT
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2018 19:20:07 GMT
Edited
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